The question subconsciously creeps into my head recently. More often than many other subconscious questions. When I was in the middle of something, be it cooking, reading something online or just lying down.
“Why do I continue to draw even though I’m not good at it?”
I am not aiming to be a great drawer or illustrator like many of artists that I admired on Instagram. I did, on more than one occasion daydream that I wish I can make my doodle or drawing into something concrete that can earn me a living in some ways.
But as time passed, I realised that maybe I enjoy drawing but I might not have a skill to can bring out my imaginations into a form of drawing. I like puns but I can’t think of any good puns most of the time.
As I scroll through my Instagram feed of the many artists that I follows and as I see more and more inspirations, I beginning to realised more and more that it eats into inner self that perhaps lead me to asking myself subconsciously that very same question like the title of this blog post.
I think the question hits me harder after I went to Lim Heng Swee‘s ‘Overthink‘ exhibition and had the chance to ask him some questions about how he started and how he work on his ideas etc. I felt I could never match up to his level, like ever.
But I asked myself afterward, was I planning to be like him or the other artists that I admired? Is that why I started drawing and doodling?
The answer is no and it make me realised I started doodling from young. My earliest memory was me doodling on my test papers and textbooks in primary school and then in secondary school, to kill time when I’m done with the test, I doodled on the test questions paper.
And I probably didn’t draw much in my university days but I did started drawing again when I started working. As a form of stress reliever, I use my imagination to doodle bad situation at works into comical situation which gotten me and my ex-colleagues laugh. I think I still have the first drawing in my cupboard.
Drawing, doodling and painting is fun and it calms my negative feelings down (when I am feeling down). I learnt that making arts or doing something creative is uplifting. Though I can’t say that my drawing session can be considered as making arts.
I won’t say my drawing is bad but it is also not good if I compared to many online Instagram artists that I know.At the same time, I know my drawing skills is getting better as I draw more and more. It is like practice makes perfect. I do have my own style of drawing in a way but I don’t think I have solidify it yet.
I’m still far from the artists that I admires, I am enjoying drawing and doodling more.
Like Jenn Ting always said “anyone can draw” even if it is a bad stick figure, it is still our own style.
Maybe that is why I will continue to draw and doodle. I will continue to enjoy it as much as I can.
Side note: I decided to google what’s the difference between a drawing, doodle and illustration. To see what’s the differences since on Instagram, people use all sorts of hashtags on their drawing post. In a nutshell, doodle is something that’s done without an aim, drawing have a motive, aim and more constructive efforts in it which can stand alone and illustration must have accompanying text that help brings out the message of the drawing. That’s what I concluded in my 5-minutes Google search.
p/s: This happened to be my 100th post on WordPress!